Dear Play For Love Community,
I hope that the following excerpt from my daily writing will inspire you in your dreams, your path, singing your unique song today and all days, and stepping out on the luscious and mysterious path of creating and sharing. I believe that sharing our voices, our vulnerability, our hopes and our fears with each other through creativity and song is an essential and healing act.
Love and Blessings on this Full Moon Friday!
I have a beautiful day planned, it’s the full moon, my body is healthy, my hopes high, my motivation strong. But I’m tired. I’m weary. I’m so tired of running from abundance, success, love, blessings. Why do I run?
Because I’m afraid of the unknown. I’m afraid to embrace the way life gives you something different than what you thought you wanted. The lack of control. We aren’t in control. We don’t control the outcome. When we open up our souls and walk forward, life collaborates. Life rushes in. It’s organic, it’s messy, it’s a constant cycle of growth and rebirth. It can be dangerous, sometimes it’s a fight for survival. It’s a constant play between light and dark.
I believe whole heartedly that this path I am stepping out on will bring true love, abundance and stability, a nurtured home, health and beauty not just to me but to my family and community. And I don’t mean superficial beauty, I mean the inner light that shines out, the spark and hunger for life, joy and connection that makes us shine with glory. Love, Family, Home, Abundance, Joy, Love, Love, Love, Love.
And the thread that connects, weaves, forms the patchwork into the story-quilt of dreams, past, present, future, spirit, divine, earth, is the song. The simple song in simple voice. Not trying to be what we are not. Rather, embracing and diving deep into who we are, the nature of each of our own unique voices. Discovering, strengthening, sending out our signature sound, in healing waves for the planet. This is the vision. We need ALL of our voices to change the world.
Find your voice. Find your song, and sing it to the world.
I had a very sweet day of teaching today. It started with working with a student who just wrote her first song. It's an epic song with an environmental message and a story. It was super fun to hone in the final edits with her and talk about how learning your OWN song is sometimes more challenging than learning someone else's- as counter- intuitive as that may be. Especially when you have poured your whole heart and soul into every line, with ambitious poetic imagery and lots of language.
Then 2 young students (7/8) who are singing, playing, and exploring their musical interests. One wants to learn a David Bowie song with about 17 chords in it (So much for the four chords of life I vi IV V!), and the other is thinking about organizing a talent show at her school this year. So that's pretty rad. I suggested that she join student council expressly for the purpose of getting the talent show going : )
Lastly I worked with a new songwriting student who is clearly a kindred spirit with an only child/raised by a musician/ public school music teacher vibe. Lots in common with this special woman and mama. Once we made a solid plan for how she can create a sustainable self care/musical/creative practice in context of the balancing act that is life and especially motherhood, and got into some restorative and repleneshing vocal exercises, she said- "Ok, now I can die happy!"
So- I am feeling the love this evening, and despite my tired eyes (it's been an internally wild few weeks of transition and realization), I wanted to share this new Ukulele song I wrote about LOVE.
I hope it makes you feel warm and fuzzy : )
I was visited by a deep, wise vision in the middle of the night. It began with me falling through layers of thin, rectangular darkness, shadow, blackness. Layers and layers, deeper and deeper. When I landed at the very bottom on the cold stone floor, I began to sob, crawl on my knees, terrified that I couldn’t find a way out.
I have had this experience emotionally, these are my waves, my breakdowns, when I cry to my mother and lie in bed for 3 days in rage and fear, feeling like I will never get up again. Asking desperately- where is the light? Wondering if I will ever see it again, if I will ever escape this darkest of dark places.
So I asked- How do I get out of this, Divine Spirit?
Divine Spirit lead me to a magic rainbow crystal, not a clear crystal but an opaque prism with rainbow colors of stone like the rainbow mountains of Peru. It could be held in my two cupped palms. Divine Spirit told me that on the other side of the wall was the light, the peace, and that if I held the rainbow crystal the water element would come and allow me to swim through the wall from darkness to light, in undulating, upward movement like a dolphin.
So my mermaid self swam through the veil and arrived in a light, limestone and marble (white rock veined with grey) underground cave of sorts with natural light pouring in from the top. The floor was of the same cool, smooth white limestone and there was a warm water lake, shallow and inviting, a place to release, heal, purify, be soothed and nurtured. It was very quiet there, peaceful.
But in balance, Divine Spirit, are we partly in the darkness and partly in the light? I asked.
The Divine Spirit said, yes. The partition between the worlds is watery, porous. When we engage in acts of Love, Creativity, Teaching, and Service in the spirit of Love and Healing, this is when we can stand between the worlds, with half of our bodies in darkness and half of our bodies in light. This is the sacred place where transformation occurs. It is why romantic love, familial love, our connections with soulmates in this life, journeys of teaching and serving, and the deep and mysterious inner journey of creating, as well as the outer journey of sharing your art, are fraught with challenges that bring your soul to the brink of your strength (so that you emerge stronger, more formed, dear one), and also illuminate and light you up until you wonder if your soul is still in your body, until your cells become unbearably light with the crystal fire of transformation and release.
This is the nature of your soul’s transformation, in equal parts taken by shadow and light. Devoting yourself to this journey is what empowers you to teach and bring transformation to all souls on this earth with your voice. It is a sacred journey you have been called to. Honor it, surrender to the unexpected landscapes and paths you will find yourself in when you walk this path steadfastly, with faith and devotion.
Alison is a Musician, Writer, Teacher and Mother. She lives in rural Sonoma County with her daughter, Ella.