Some funny things come to mind as I watch this. I’m on day 5 of daily shares, and it’s not easy. If I wasn’t committed to sharing with an open heart from my creative and educational music path, I wouldn’t share this. That ego voice is just too loud in my head saying- well, you know! You’ve got your own. But the voice is kind of funny. It makes me feel the need to assure you that I am not stoned even though I was born on 4/20. To explain that the reason I am moving that way is because I am sitting on an exercise ball that I bought for my daughter to play with, but now use as a desk chair. So many things.
I’m sharing this one for my student Vikki, a fifth generation farmer from the Philippines who is taking voice lessons for the first time after a life long love affair with singing. She has a natural huge soprano voice and we are working on getting her in touch with her low range so she can sing contemporary songs that she loves like “Can’t Help Falling In Love”. She is on a serious healing path with music, and has the bug BAD. Bad like she owns 8 Ukuleles bad. Which is actually great. Which is what this song is about.
As I got into the unexpected and seemingly miraculous process of making a record with Tim Bluhm last year (a collection Mother Hips songs that I arranged for female voice and piano), I had many moments of - Oh s**t, I’m making a record. I know exactly what it costs. No I don’t have that kind of money laying around. But this is what I do! Mellotron arrangements by Pat Sansone of Wilco- yes, absolutely! String arrangements from Nashville!? Hell yes!
How could I say no to such beauty and the opportunity to make art that’s exactly aligned with the pace of my soul?
I wrote this song as I was grappling with these questions and the illogical/inspired yes. I’ll be asking for support with a crowdfunding campaign for the first time so I can get my music out to you. But this kind of share is free. Straight from me to you, with all the beauty and realness which is sometimes just freaking awkward and makes me cringe a little, at least if I listen to that old ego. But again- the sharing is more important than the fear. So here you go.
PS. I’ve posted a snippet of this song before on my blog, right after I wrote it. But I was afraid to share it, because it felt too close to my heart, too vulnerable, too new. The funny thing is that I usually find it really awkward to look into the camera, but as I recorded it felt very natural for the same reason I was afraid to share this song with you before- because it is straight from the heart. Funny how that works!
Gambler Song- Alison Harris 2017
Am F C G (vi IV I V)
You’ll be the death of me, strip my skin right from the bones
Lead me on a wild goose chase, ’til there’s no place left to call my home
‘Cause I’m a gambler baby, lay it all down
I might go on singing ’til there is no sound
When you come a knockin’, open every door
I will cross each threshold, always wanting more
Feed me on fantasy, ’til you make me moan
I’ll live on song along, ’til I’m only skin and bones
‘Cause this is all I have, this is all I love
This is all I live for, I can’t get enough
If you wonder, baby, why I’d rather be lost
If I can’t keep singing- nothing’s worth that cost
So leave me by the wayside in a field of wild flowers
My song and I, we’ll whittle down the hours
You might see me standing like I am all alone
But I’ve got song beside me, and she is my home
Many can’t conceive it, most don’t understand
I’d rather be with music than touched by any hand
Even in the darkness, I'll shine in the light
Deep down in the dark, my spirit's shining bright
Alison is a Musician, Writer, Teacher and Mother. She lives in rural Sonoma County with her daughter, Ella.