I was visited by a deep, wise vision in the middle of the night. It began with me falling through layers of thin, rectangular darkness, shadow, blackness. Layers and layers, deeper and deeper. When I landed at the very bottom on the cold stone floor, I began to sob, crawl on my knees, terrified that I couldn’t find a way out.
I have had this experience emotionally, these are my waves, my breakdowns, when I cry to my mother and lie in bed for 3 days in rage and fear, feeling like I will never get up again. Asking desperately- where is the light? Wondering if I will ever see it again, if I will ever escape this darkest of dark places.
So I asked- How do I get out of this, Divine Spirit?
Divine Spirit lead me to a magic rainbow crystal, not a clear crystal but an opaque prism with rainbow colors of stone like the rainbow mountains of Peru. It could be held in my two cupped palms. Divine Spirit told me that on the other side of the wall was the light, the peace, and that if I held the rainbow crystal the water element would come and allow me to swim through the wall from darkness to light, in undulating, upward movement like a dolphin.
So my mermaid self swam through the veil and arrived in a light, limestone and marble (white rock veined with grey) underground cave of sorts with natural light pouring in from the top. The floor was of the same cool, smooth white limestone and there was a warm water lake, shallow and inviting, a place to release, heal, purify, be soothed and nurtured. It was very quiet there, peaceful.
But in balance, Divine Spirit, are we partly in the darkness and partly in the light? I asked.
The Divine Spirit said, yes. The partition between the worlds is watery, porous. When we engage in acts of Love, Creativity, Teaching, and Service in the spirit of Love and Healing, this is when we can stand between the worlds, with half of our bodies in darkness and half of our bodies in light. This is the sacred place where transformation occurs. It is why romantic love, familial love, our connections with soulmates in this life, journeys of teaching and serving, and the deep and mysterious inner journey of creating, as well as the outer journey of sharing your art, are fraught with challenges that bring your soul to the brink of your strength (so that you emerge stronger, more formed, dear one), and also illuminate and light you up until you wonder if your soul is still in your body, until your cells become unbearably light with the crystal fire of transformation and release.
This is the nature of your soul’s transformation, in equal parts taken by shadow and light. Devoting yourself to this journey is what empowers you to teach and bring transformation to all souls on this earth with your voice. It is a sacred journey you have been called to. Honor it, surrender to the unexpected landscapes and paths you will find yourself in when you walk this path steadfastly, with faith and devotion.
Alison is a Musician, Writer, Teacher and Mother. She lives in rural Sonoma County with her daughter, Ella.